My E-Mail Inbox Today

Some days are slow when it comes to important or halfway necessary e-mails in my Inbox. Today ranked up there in awesome e-mails, however. It’s only 12:30 PM and I’ve already received these two gems:

1) Hello,My name is Florance Gadu,i saw your email address today as am searching in the Internet and became intrested in you,i will also like to know you more,and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom I am.Here is my email address(florance_cota@yahoo.com) I believe we can move from here I am waiting.Remeber good relationship goes beyond distance and colour,honest,emotions,carer and kind that lead both ,lovers to fly highly on the wings of happines, and in all true love is all we need in life to be happy Thanks a lot for your kind attentionFlorance.

Now, I’m engaged and will be married on October 10th. But boy is this tempting. Here are a few observations I have made about this message.

a) My name is Florance Gadu
I don’t know many people named Florance, but isn’t it usually spelled Florence? Regardless, this woman stands out from other Florance’s and Florence’s in every way.

b) i saw your email address today as am searching in the Internet and became intrested in you
Perhaps this is a common practice of hers, stumbling upon e-mail addresses while searching the Internet. Probably not though, it’s obvious that we are meant to be together. She became interested in me simply by seeing my e-mail address. Who can blame her- jmwoelfel@yahoo.com – that’s a good looking address!

c) i will also like to know you more,and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom I am
She’s playing hard to get. She could have just sent me a picture of herself in this introductory e-mail, but she likes the chase. My instructions are to send her an e-mail back so that she can then send me a picture of her so I will “know whom I am.” Wait a minute- do I already know her? Maybe it’s someone I see on a daily basis. Maybe this isn’t as random as she led me to first believe. It could be someone I work with, someone I pass while jogging, someone who frequents the same restaurants as I. The mystery!

d) Here is my email address(florance_cota@yahoo.com)
Her e-mail address is Florance_cota, yet she introduced herself as Florance Gadu. Of course, I assume this to be the alias she has chosen to hide her true identity from me. But how complex is this planned revelation that she has even changed her fake maiden name from Cota and adopted Gadu? This woman is deeper than one would assume.

e) I believe we can move from here I am waiting
Florance believes we can now move beyond where our relationship currently lies. Apparently we are ready for the next step. You know, the one that comes after an e-mail introducing one’s name.

f) Remeber good relationship goes beyond distance and colour,honest,emotions,carer and kind that lead both ,lovers to fly highly on the wings of happines, and in all true love is all we need in life to be happy
Ah, she speaks the language of love! I don’t know what a “happine” is, but I want to fly on the wings of them with Florence… er… Florance. She reminds me that a good relationship is more than honesty. It’s deeper than that. Florance understands what Corinne doesn’t. Sometimes true love is about lying. Oh Florance, I’ve been waiting all my life to hear from you.

2) The other e-mail I received was a notification that I had made a sale on half.com. I had sold a book called “How to Understand Your Bible” that was a requirement for one of the classes I took in college. The purchaser? Jesus Guerrero.